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  “Tell me Rihana’s idea.”

  “Remember the incident with Castaneda?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I was, like, set up.”

  Steve leans forward. “Do you think she’s working with Bashur?”

  If he had asked me that question months ago, I would have said no. Now? “Don’t know. Rihana’s thinking we set Bashur up to take the fall with the Alliance. Keep the innocent protected.”

  “Requires knowing his every move.”

  “I’ll meet with him. Give him the intel he wants, but we’ve got to stay two steps ahead of him.”

  “Sorry to interrupt…” The familiar voice drifts into the room.

  “Miss Shepard,” Steve starts, “how can I help you?”

  Walking further into the study, she holds a leather jacket tightly in her hands. “I have something that might help your efforts, but I must speak to Asher. Alone.”

  My step-grandfather stands.

  “Not necessary, Steve. This involves both of us.” When Tru’s eyes widen, I hold up my hand. “My step-grandfather is providing the man power for an operation. He has to know everything.”

  Her body slumps, and she plops down in a chair. “Fine, but don’t blame me when shit hits the fan.” Tru spreads the jacket on her lap, lifts the silky fabric lining it, and pulls out a stack of papers.

  “Is that what I think it is?” I ask.

  “Yes.” Tru grips the pages. “You realize how dangerous this is?”

  The infamous notebook.

  When I first heard about a journal containing codes, data, and government research, I thought it was a piece of fiction. Then Zared told me Tru had found it. More important, he’d seen it. Ko verified its existence. Lives have been lost trying to keep it secret—along with the piece of technology that I leaked to the DarkNet.

  “When I was a prisoner at North Woods, Taa told me details about the Helix. I wrote down as much as I could remember in the back of it.” She hands me the pages held together with a band. “You’re free to use it however you wish. Just don’t ask me about it. I want to forget that part of my life and put an end to all the secrets and lies.”

  “Understood.” The girl had been through a lot of shit being imprisoned at the government prison for those exiled by the New Order. Most of her despair came courtesy of the late scientist Holden Pratt. The prick, someone she was supposed to marry, violated and tormented her in the worse ways.

  I stare down at the unassuming papers, hoping the location of the Helix is written somewhere within them. Tucking them into my rear pocket, I tell her, “Thank you, Tru. I promise you that these will remain in my possession.”

  She pushes to her feet. “That’s your choice. Just leave me out of it.”

  “By the way, how are you, like, feeling?”

  The question puts a smile on her face. “Not bad considering.”

  “If you need anything at all, don’t hesitate to ask—”

  My comment causes her joy to disintegrate. “I have questions for you about Ko.”

  Steve taps my shoulder. “Take your time. I’ll find out where Bashur is. Set up a meeting.”

  Once he’s gone, Tru says, “I’m wondering why you involved Ko. Did you think she deserved to be mistreated by you?”

  It’s admirable that Tru still has concern for a girl who wasted no time betraying her. Ko Castaneda used Tru like a fucking bargaining chip. If I were in Tru’s shoes, I wouldn’t let thoughts of Ko occupy my mind. There are more productive ways of spending time.

  Sitting down, I point to the chair Steve vacated and wait for her to take a seat. “My intention was never to mistreat your friend. Honestly, Ko wasn’t supposed to get hurt, but what I do for a living there are always calculated risks.”

  “Really?” Tru says, disapproving. Her eyes are hard and scornful. “I guess she should be happy you calculated the risk. You broke her heart. Did you plan for that too?”

  “It wasn’t like that, Tru.” Rubbing my forehead, memories of my last conversation with Ko float back to me, but I shut them down. “My contact was at RMA. I couldn’t be seen frequenting the dorms without a good reason.”

  “So you let Ko be your excuse?” Disdain flashes across Tru’s face. “Ko may be a lot of things, but she didn’t deserve to be your alibi. I thought you cared about her. Asher, you were supposed to be one of the good guys.”

  There are no words to contradict Tru. I lost my halo a long time ago. If I could change things, get the proverbial do-over, I’d have found another way. But when it comes to my family, I’ll do whatever it takes to keep them out of danger.

  “Tru…”

  “Don’t bother. I’ve had enough lies to last me a lifetime.”

  After she leaves, I recall the last time Ko and I spoke. When the door to the interrogation room opened, I thought maybe it was General Eddy Stone. Ko managed to get to me before the man arrived.

  A maelstrom of emotions played across her face as she sat across from me. I prepared myself for a tirade. What she gave me, though, I couldn’t prep for.

  “I have no idea why I let you draw me in with kind words and good looks. I guess I should count myself lucky when nothing happened between us.” She leaned over the table. “Asher, was it all just an act? Did I mean anything to you?”

  Her words slapped my face as the truth wounded me. Of late, Ko had chosen betrayal over friendship. Somehow, I thought I was above her perfidy. We’d been some pseudo-version of a couple, sharing hopes and dreams and too many kisses. I felt I knew her heart…her soul.

  “I never said I didn’t care about you.” I reached for her hand, and she jerked it away. “You, like, mean the world to me.”

  She shook her head and tears glistened in her eyes. “Give me some credit, Asher. You’re not the only one who’s able to read people.”

  “It’s not what you think.” I curled my arms over my head. If she knew everything, would it matter?

  She sniffed. “Spare me the details. I know all I care to know.”

  “What is it you think you know?”

  Ko threw my words back at me. Reminding me of the story I told her about losing my family and my first love.

  “You must have thought yourself clever and me pretty damned stupid. Going on and on about this girl who called you ‘her heart’. I thought I was competing with the ghost of Cindy. That would have been a hell of a lot easier than competing with some woman who’s still alive. Tell me, where do you have her stashed? Or did she dump your sorry ass, and you’re not over her?”

  I took a deep, pained breath and my gaze flicked to the ceiling for a minute. As much as I would have liked to answer her questions, I couldn’t. Not in a place with eyes and ears. “None of this was supposed to, like, happen. You weren’t supposed to get hurt.”

  “But. I. Did.” Ko swallowed hard and clenched her fists.

  Her eyes blazed with fury, and I lowered mine. If she had any sympathy for me, it was long gone. Metal scraped against the concrete floor and grabbed my attention. Ko stood with her palms on the table. Tears poured down her pretty face. Part of me wanted to reach out and wipe them away along with her pain. I caused this, and I was so damned sorry.

  She didn’t bother wiping her eyes. “I’ll make this really easy for you. If you make it off this fucking island, don’t feel obligated to me. I’ve accepted an honorable discharge from Riza.”

  “H-how?” She was guilty of acts of treason. My face tightened, and I jammed my hands into my armpits.

  “I cooperated with General Stone,” she said flatly. “He wanted details about what happened at North Woods.”

  Staring up at Ko, my muscles twitched and my palms were sweaty. I prayed she hadn’t done anything foolish. “What did you do?”

  “Don’t worry. I told Stone I was an unfortunate hostage. You convinced an innocent, naive cadet to give up her post and follow you—an officer abusing your rank and privilege.”

  Telling my superior that I abused my rank and privilege g
ave her a discharge and could reward me with my own cell at North Woods.

  A strange numbness took over my body. It erased pain, fear, and even the worries I had. My mind pulled her words apart—weighing each one and searching for a hidden meaning. Ko selling me out was inexcusable. She had every right to be angry with me because I led her on. It’s something I deserved, not betrayal. But we shared confidences. I deserved a little loyalty. Yes, Ko unwillingly participated in my mission. That was wrong, and if she’d accept it, I’d apologize.

  If Ko had confessed her role—admitted to joining the rebellion—I could have forgiven her. Painting herself as a victim and dumping the blame in my lap was worse than what I did to her. If I had never returned home… Thankfully, that possibility died along with Leader Jacoby C. Venter.

  Leaving the study, I run into Steve in the hall.

  “Everything good?”

  Shrugging, I hope that one day I can make amends to Tru. “Don’t worry about it. Did you, like, find Bashur?”

  “Yeah. You’ll meet with him in the morning.”

  “Thanks. I’ve got some reading to do.”

  REQUISITION

  CHAPTER NINE

  “I was told Riza would make a man of me, give me a sense of purpose. It kept me off the streets and out of jail. I’d been stronger, though, without Riza in my life.”

  —from “Reflections on Riza” by Lt. Asher Nicholas Jones

  Red is still keeping guard outside the door, when I get to the guesthouse. He’s now in a too tight T-shirt and wearing sunglasses.

  “Your wife and child left with Sibley.”

  Not news that I want to hear. “Who’s escorting them?”

  “Fletcher.”

  Bobbing my head, I tell him, “Take a break. Report back when, like, Fletcher returns.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  I don’t wait for him to leave before opening the door. In the kitchen, I find a note from Rihana and a freshly brewed pot of coffee.

  Aza—

  Viyan has an appointment with her doctor. Sibley and Dwayne Fletcher went with me. We will have lunch and then return.

  You Are My Heart.

  Rihana

  I find comfort in the words that she first said to me years ago—you are my heart—before I asked her to marry me. Pouring myself a cup of coffee, I take it out to the living room and then remove the pages Tru gave me.

  The papers, ripped from the original journal, are primarily notes scribbled in more than one handwriting style. I flip through each one until I find a five-year-old memo to a Dr. Gayle Abernathy.

  RE: Test Subject Transport

  Until further notice, all test subjects from the Great Lakes Region must pass through New Belle Isle for qualification testing. Once subjects are deemed healthy, they will be transported to Colorado facility.

  Beneath it, someone has written the words ‘Location of Helix?’. I scan the remaining pages searching for more details about the Colorado facility. There’s a great deal of information about the Perfected Clones study, including empirical data collected from Riza cadets. They even identified which cadets should be included in the Helix. Now, I understand why Tru was hesitant to give up the notebook. These pages include statistics about her—culled from testing at the learning center she attended—as well. If it fell into the wrong hands—say a physician—he or she would be obligated to report it to the Centers of Human Advancement. The New Order would have been able to pinpoint Tru’s whereabouts and made sure she received the crippling vaccine as part of any medical treatment.

  After wrapping my head around that discovery, I keep reading and eventually stumble across information nobody should know.

  —

  I’ve spent the entire afternoon reading the contents of the notebook, a disturbing tome of information to say the least. The sun is setting when I finish reading the last page.

  A cold breeze kicks up behind me as the door clicks shut. Automatically, I’m on alert until I see Rihana. She goes to the corner fireplace, lights a fire, and slowly the chill in the air dissipates.

  “Hi,” she says.

  “Hey, like, where’s your escort?”

  “Fletcher and Red are talking. I told them I was fine without one.” Her eyes dip to the pages beside me. She turns a lamp on and asks, “Is that the notebook I’ve heard about?”

  “Yeah.” I rake a hand across my face. As much as I want to go out and give Red the riot act for disobeying my orders, I’ll let it slide for now.

  “Learn anything?” Rihana asks, distracting my thoughts.

  “Too much. Stuff I wish I could unlearn.” The harsh light jars me. After a day of reading details of horrific experiments, I crave a little comfort.

  “Can you turn off the light?” I pat the sofa next to me. “Come sit with me.”

  The light goes off, and Rihana flops down on the furniture. Putting my arm around her, I pull her close.

  “Are you all right?” she asks.

  “I am now.” Pressing my nose against her hair, I inhale the scent of fresh flowers. Then I realize something’s missing. “Ree, when did you stop wearing your hijab?”

  “Shortly after you left.” She pauses for a minute. “It made me a target for the haters in this territory. All the women in my family made the decision to not wear it.”

  Butterflies dance in my stomach. “What do you mean it made you a target?”

  “Aza, stop. An incident happened to another family. We were unharmed. Let it go.”

  This is why I need to be home and not on assignment for Riza or the Alliance. We sit there in the darkened room for a few more minutes, listening to the crackling wood.

  “Where’s my daughter?”

  Rihana shifts in my arms. “After lunch, we took her to see my parents. They’ll be here in about an hour with Viyan.”

  “That’s cool. I just want to, like, enjoy some time alone with you. I’ve missed this.”

  “Me, too,” she admits. “I’m sorry for yesterday.”

  “You did nothing wrong,” I tell her.

  “Yes, I did. I should have never allowed Raman to kiss me.” Rihana pulls her legs beneath her. “When he told me the story about the Michigan woman, my heart broke.”

  Stroking her cheek, I push a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’m sorry.”

  Rihana kisses my palm. “I made the mistake of telling my mother. She responded by telling me they never wanted me to marry you. They were good with Raman. Even went as far to say that I should accept his offer of marriage and divorce you.”

  My hand drops. “Ree…”

  She grasps it. “Don’t. My parents do not speak for me.”

  “You deserve better than me. The only thing Bashur has right is me being a fraud. I don’t know if it was this mission or just my past catching up with me, but I’ve lost who I am. Hell, I’m slipping, Ree. There are times when I wish I could go back and be Asher. Just be me. But this new version of me is better than he was. He has a wife and child. He’s supposed to be responsible.”

  Rihana moves closer to me and cups my face with both hands. “Years ago, I fell in love with a boy named Asher. But I also fell in love with the man who became Aza. A brave man who chose to stand up for what…for who he wanted. I chose you. It does not matter to me what you call yourself.”

  “Thank you,” I say quietly. “Does this mean we’re okay, now?”

  “We are more than okay, my love. You be who you need to be. I will not judge you. I will only love you.”

  “About Bashur…”

  “Shh,” she snuggles closer. “Talking about him will spoil this moment.”

  “Sorry, Ree, but I must say this.” I scoot back into the corner of the sofa. She leans her head against my chest as I stroke her arm. “I admit it. I screwed up. Spending so much time alone with another woman was wrong. It didn’t matter that I was set up. I shouldn’t have done it. Bashur, however… What he did was such a violation.”

  “Aza…”

  The reason
it took me an entire day to read through the notebook was my mind kept drifting. I thought about the people I’ve trusted with my life—just like the cadets who were experimented upon—and how they betrayed me. And every single connection I made came down to Bashur. He’s the worst one. Friends abandoned me with good reason. They thought I lied to them. Ko deceived me because I hurt her. But Bashur? I only did what he asked of me. He rewarded me by trying to steal what keeps me sane—my wife and child.

  “Let me finish. I trusted Bashur to watch over my family. I assumed he knew what was best. Not once did I imagine he wanted you for himself. No matter what he told you… No matter what lies he constructed, I do love you. I’ve never stopped loving you, Ree. You’re my reason for living, you and Viyan together. If anything ever happened…”

  Rihana shakes her head. “Do not say that. Nothing will happen to us. And nothing will happen to you. We are going to figure a way out of this and get Raman out of our lives.”

  She turns in my arms, and our eyes meet.

  “Aza, you are still my heart, my reason for waking each day. I love you with every fiber of my being,” she says and caresses my face.

  Taking her hand in mine, I kiss her palm and say a silent prayer. “God… Allah… Whatever name You’re going by, please don’t let me lose this woman. She put me back together when I was broken. I’ll die without her by my side.”

  At this moment, I’m speechless, but words aren’t necessary. Leaning forward, my lips mesh with Rihana’s. Ours is a slow kiss filled with so much passion and desire. I tug her onto my lap, needing to be deep inside my wife—show her how much I love her.

  Have patience.

  With surprising restraint, I sit back and take my time unbuttoning her blouse, revealing a lacy black bra. My dick stiffens and all I can think of is tasting this woman. Lowering my head, I let my tongue brush across a nipple.

  “Ohh,” Rihana moans.

  The sound goes straight to my crotch.

  Just breathe.

  The sofa is not nearly big enough for the two of us with what I want to do. With unbelievable control, I stop teasing her taut nipple. Intertwining our fingers, I lead Rihana to the floor in front of the fireplace. She grabs the blanket from a nearby chair.